nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
