And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
