cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
