I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
