Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
