I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
