i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
