would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
