i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
