Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
