I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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