you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
