Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
the raccoons are back...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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