loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They took my balls.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
