no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
