Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
