distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
