My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
