So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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