The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
