piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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