like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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