Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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