Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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