There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
