I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
