Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
