Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
