He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
