I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
