I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
