dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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