Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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