$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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