i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
