the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There r osticjed everywhere
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
