doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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