Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Mom said you looked used
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
