Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
