You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
