What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
