grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
