Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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