Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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