i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
PANTIES FOUND
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