We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
