i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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