Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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