yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
