you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
