I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
