Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
