Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
